tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize