Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's okay to admit that you're into redheads.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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