Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
