I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize
