let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
