What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
