remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Randomize
