You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize