I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
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So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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