Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
