Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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