You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
I've been alternating between telling people I was mauled by a bear or hit by a car to explain the massive unexplainable bruise on my leg. Slightly more worried now that the car idea is believable.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
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