Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
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