You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
