He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
