Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Randomize
