need another drink. this is the easiest way
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
