I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
