It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
