be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize