I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Randomize
