Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
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I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
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Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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