Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
