forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
