she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
