He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
