she lunged for my junk like it was the cure for swine flu
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
So much rum. So many feels.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
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