So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
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