I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
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