Soap is not a condiment
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
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