I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize