thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
