She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize