can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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