Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
Randomize
