Ketchup is God's man juice
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
