I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Randomize
