oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
