I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
even my farts smell like vagina
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
