You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Randomize