Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
Randomize
