I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
