but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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