The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
