im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I need mimosas to revive my soul
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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