NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
