please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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