I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
Randomize
