Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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