dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Girls should come with a carfax report
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
