so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
