is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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