My first STD was from a foam party
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Randomize
