i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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