So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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