I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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