she's into porn, im staying here tonight
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Randomize
