There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
birth control should be required to get into college
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I love you. Go after that dick
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
