I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
Randomize