Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Randomize