Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
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